Tag Archives: motherhood

Seeking in 2024

Posted on by brokenredeemed

Welcome all to my little spot on the internet! It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything public. I’ve been praying about this blog because I wasn’t sure whether or not the things God has been teaching me are for others or just for myself. However, I’ve been reading “Raising Giant-Killers,” by Bill Johnson, and was reminded of the power of testimonies in showing what a powerful and loving God we serve. Then, I read in Matthew 13:52  how every scribe who has become a disciple in the kingdom of Heaven is like a homeowner who brings from his storeroom new gems of truth as well as old (paraphrased from the AMP and NLT). So, here I am, attempting to share gems of truth.

I was sitting here re-reading some of the blog drafts that have been just sitting out in space, unfinished and/or unseen, by the public eye. Some, I deleted permanently because really they were more related to what was going on in our culture at the time I wrote them (2019-2022), but a few I kept and may update and share with you soon.

So, what’s going on with me now? I’m still a homeschooling stay-at-home mom of three, married to my hubby of almost 8 years. I’m finally coming out of the fog that is the fourth trimester, now that my last child is almost three (yes, it took that long), and I’m finding that I have a little more free time and energy on my hands, although, life is still very busy.

This past January, when everyone was thinking about their goals for the new year, I started a 21-day fast with my church, not really going into it with anything in particular that I wanted to pray about. The last few years, I’ve felt especially “stuck” in my role as mother and wife and in the ministries I’ve been involved with–and/or wanted to be involved with–my last post, titled Tomatoes, touched on this. I was tired of getting my hopes up, setting goals, praying about the same things repeatedly, and never seeing them come to fruition. But I fasted, and I prayed anyway. Even when it was hard. Even when I had no idea why it was hard.

I finally realized I was kind of angry and disappointed because things hadn’t changed over the last few years. I thought things would get easier as my children got older, I thought I’d be able to do more of the things I wanted to do or that I’d felt called to do; and I wanted to do more for the kingdom. So I laid this at God’s feet, and I asked Him to change my heart. I told Him, His Word says His burden is light, and His yolk is easy, but this life He’d given felt so burdensome (Matthew 11:28-30). This is me being real and vulnerable with you. Motherhood is incredibly hard for me. I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. This is why I’m sharing. Motherhood is lonely, exhausting, repetitive, and unappreciated work. I love my children so much, but that doesn’t change how hard the role is.

To continue, during my Bible time, I read Jeremiah 29, and verses 4-7 jumped out at me. This is where God told Jeremiah to tell the Israelites that while they were in Babylonian captivity (for their sin), they were to be fruitful and to pray for the cities God had sent them to.  Essentially, He told them to bloom where they were planted. Then I thought about how God’s called me to my home and given me my children and husband, and I was focusing on all the wrong things. I want to do important things for God, but this is where He has me. It’s like in Matthew 25, when the master gives the servant money and tells him to invest it, but instead, he buries it. In focusing on how hard motherhood is, instead of how my God supplies me with everything I need, and uses motherhood to sanctify me and pour into my family, I wasn’t growing the gifts He’d given me. I wasn’t being faithful in the little things. I was thinking that I needed to go outside my home to do (additional) kingdom work, but He reminded me I can be on my knees in prayer for those doing the work that I can’t do in this season; and prayer is kingdom work!

Lastly, and more importantly, I was so focused on doing something important for the kingdom that I took my eyes off of the King. The King is sovereign, and He knows what He’s doing, and He does that which brings Him glory and establishes His kingdom, in His own time and in His own way; and He deserves my complete trust. After I lay all this down, God gave my pastor a message on surrender, and I knew I was on the right track because the Holy Spirit confirms what He’s revealing.

Well, this past Wednesday as we sang “The Goodness of God,” and we got to the verse that says “Your goodness is running after me,” I pictured my three children literally running after me, and I knew that God had done something transformative in my heart that I could never do on my own. We serve such a big and perfect God, with His own big and perfect plans. Those plans often look so much different than what we want or expect, but He’s always working in us, through us and around us. We just have to keep our eyes on Him no matter what, and never stop seeking Him, even when it’s hard.

Refinement

Posted on by brokenredeemed

This last year has been a difficult transition for me, going from two littles, to three. Just as I was getting used to two, a third came along, and challenged me in a whole new way. My youngest is almost a year now, and I’m finally beginning to feel a little more myself, and like I have things somewhat under control. I use the term loosely, because while things are still challenging, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m feeling a little more knowledgeable in my parenting skills, and abilities (or lack thereof, lol).

I’ve realized–especially after reading “No Better Mom for the Job” by Becky Keife–I’m not a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants mom. I prefer parks with fences; and carrying the baby in a carrier, so I have two free hands for other things like chasing/grabbing my toddler, pushing the girls on the swing, helping them use the toilet, and getting them in/out of a pushcart. I plan outings around nursing, meals, naps, and bed times; and I plan meals and snacks in advance, so that I’m not scratching my head every couple hours, with a trio of crying hungry kids at my heels. And if I expect to have a real conversation with someone, it’s not going to happen with my kids running around.

Motherhood seems to come easy to some, but not to me. I’m challenged daily, by my children. I love them and love to teach and disciple them, but I’m an introvert blessed with three very needy and rowdy children. Hence, the reason it’s been such a long time in between my posts. I’m exhausted by the end of the day; and while I go to bed pretty early, I still have to drag myself out of bed most mornings. The best time for me to study the Word, pray, and journal is when I plug in my headphones and ignore the kids for an hour in the afternoon, (lol, I do keep my eyes on them from the dining room, in case you’re worried). So, if you think that the only time to study the Word with kids in the house, is early in the morning before they wake up, and you’re not a morning person, don’t let that stop you.

Regardless of how challenging motherhood can be, I wouldn’t change it. My children are a gift. A gift that, quite frankly, I don’t deserve. I think we’ve discussed this before, but God uses my children to grow me into the person He desires me to be. My children challenge my selfish nature, they teach me patience, endurance, gentleness, self-control (daily, I might add, lol). They teach me to show forgiveness, and to ask for forgiveness, when I fall short. They remind me constantly of the importance of knowing, learning, and being transformed by the Word, because they ask all the questions, and watch the hubby and I closely, every day.

The world says that children aren’t worth all the trouble, that they prevent us from reaching our full potential, goals and dreams. The Word says that children are a heritage (Psalm 127:3-5). I had to look that word up, it means an inheritance; in other words, they are valuable. And I’d even go so far as to say that my children will help me reach my full God-given potential. God designed my children specifically for me, and me for them; it’s symbiotic. We shape each other.

The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold,

But the LORD tests hearts.

Proverbs 17:3, NASB

Parenting is a refining process. All our impurities come to the surface in the fire that is parenthood, and our shortcomings and flaws are on display for those closest to us to see, and then they’re often reflected back to us in our children. 😳 I can’t tell you how often I find myself face to face with my own sin–pride, selfishness, jealousy, etc.–being reflected back at me in the face of my child. It’s here, especially, that I’m forced to throw up my hands in surrender, and cry out, “I can’t” or “I don’t know what I’m doing!…God, help me! Forgive me. You have all the answers. Please give me wisdom and direction.”

That’s not to say that if you don’t have children, you can’t be shaped into the man or woman God wants you to be. God will mold and shape you in other ways, but for me, in this season, this is where He has me. This is how the Potter’s shaping me more and more into His image. What, in your life or circumstances, is God using to mold you, these days? What has He been revealing to you?

But now, O LORD, you are our Father;

we are the clay, and you are our potter;

we are all the work of your hand.

Isaiah 64:8, ESV

Sacrificing Our Comfort in the Season of Motherhood

Posted on by brokenredeemed

Over the last few months I’ve had a prompting to write, but never the solitude or freedom to think deeply on any one subject. Even now, as I write there’s a sleeping soon-to-be 6 month old on my lap, a 4 year old on my left trying to tickle my arm, and a two-year-old on my right messing with the remote controls and my Bible. I’ve realized over the last few weeks that as difficult as it can be to study my Bible during these long days of motherhood, it’s always worth it, and God always rewards my act of obedience.

The word I like to use here, is sacrifice, because it truly is a a sacrifice during this stage in my life, to pull out the Word and meditate on its truth when I could be cleaning the never-ending messes: dishes, laundry, diaper changes, feedings, cooking, teaching, or even escaping, via social media or television. But to let the other things go, so that I can focus on what really matters, is a sacrifice.

To get up extra early to serve on my church’s worship team is also a sacrifice. I’m an introvert that runs out of energy after serving, and I have three littles that demand attention, regardless of how I feel. But I get up extra early to prep myself and get everybody else changed, fed, and prepared with snacks, diapers, water, etc. But as difficult as it is, I love it. I love to worship, I love that my kids love to be with their friends at church and get to learn about the Lord in community. And although, I usually don’t even get to hear the sermon, in its entirety–because of the baby–I show up and try to focus on what tidbits I can get. (That’s what makes my personal Bible study so important.)

I began this post over a month ago, but never felt it was complete. But this past Sunday, I put the baby in the nursery after worship, and was able to actually take notes! Funny enough, pastor’s message really spoke to me about a similar topic. The message was on breaking patterns that hinder (we were looking at Matthew 20:29-34), but the parts that really spoke to me were about not giving up, and pushing through, even when the circumstances aren’t ideal for change; and stepping out boldly and believing God. Pastor said that we’re afraid to be vulnerable with God, but I added in my notes that I think we’re also afraid of what He’s calling us to do. Whether because we fear it being too difficult, or time consuming, or we simply don’t want to sacrifice our comfort (ouch!). There’s that word, again.

The two blind men found in Matthew had to overcome many obstacles to be right where they needed to be. I’m sure it was uncomfortable. People were pushing and shoving to see Jesus; they knew He’d pass through, but not exactly when. They could have been there for hours. And when they heard Jesus was passing through, they yelled as loud as they could. Every time I read this passage I picture these men screaming like there’s no tomorrow! They were desperate for Jesus and refused to be overlooked. They knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He had exactly what they needed. Just like these men, tired, overextended momma, God is asking you to show up, seek Him, cry out to Him, despite the obstacles and distractions, and He promises to give you exactly what you need.

Seek Him

Posted on by brokenredeemed

Something has been nagging at me the last few weeks, that I felt needed sharing. Many, including myself, have expressed the struggle they’ve had over the last year to hear the voice of God. Many of us have been stuck in our homes, feeling isolated, or overwhelmed by news, politics, family responsibilities, and our own fears and anxieties. Personally, I had “mommy brain” for a few months, which thankfully, has cleared up a little, now that I’m in my 7th month of pregnancy.

Well, a few weeks ago, I was on the worship team at church and we were having some technical difficulties, during service. We just continued to worship with the acoustic guitar, but the Pastor shared that God had been questioning her love for him, much like Jesus did to Peter after the resurrection when He repeatedly asked, “Do you love me?” And my mind went to Jeremiah 29:13 which states that we’ll find Him when we seek Him with all our heart. If you’re like me, or Pastor, our answer, of course, is “yes, Lord, we love You,” but I had to ask myself, have I truly been seeking Him with my whole heart? Have you? With all the distracting noise of 2020, were we really, truly seeking Him?

I’ve been investing more time and energy into reading and prayer, but since my focus hasn’t been the best, I’ve found myself reading more devotionals and hymns (which usually aren’t my go-to). I prefer the Word, straight up; however, since I’m going through a season of sleeplessness, exhaustion, and littles (with a preschooler & toddler), meditating on the Word, like I’d prefer, hasn’t been possible. I don’t get much alone time, and even my devotional time is littered with questions and requests from my 3 year old. But I refuse to let this season get the best of me, because I love the Lord and I desire to hear His voice, but also because both my family, and I, benefit from me spending time with the Lord.

We talk about seasons a lot here, because each season comes with new challenges, and opportunities for growth, that I’m continually grappling with. But no matter our season–student, career-oriented, or entrepreneur; single, married, divorced; new parent, seasoned, struggling (lol, how I often feel), empty nester, or even grandparent–our need for Christ never diminishes.

Our heart should continually be seeking His face, His will, and plan. Let’s not allow a busy season, or a season with lots of unknowns, ups and downs, challenges, or distractions prevent us from seeking His face. For He desires to speak with us, to comfort us, to grow our faith, and to be our strong tower and strength when we finally come to the realization that we can’t do it alone. We must all come to the end of ourselves and lay it all at the feet of the cross, at some point, maybe even multiple times (a day!).

What’s funny is that’s been the “word” He’s placed in my heart for the past year…surrender. What do we need to surrender to God? Is it our relationships? Children? Health? Our career? Government? Future? Because if we believe He’s over all, we must be willing to walk that out! But no matter what, we must first seek Him, for when we do, He promises that we will find Him.

You have said, “Seek my face.” My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek.”

Psalm 27:8, ESV

Frugal Family Fun

Posted on by brokenredeemed

I’d already begun this post before all the craziness of the last couple weeks happened, so keep that in mind as you read. However, I thought it might be of help to those of you who don’t quite know what to do with your little kids at home.

Right now, my kiddos are really young (2 1/2 and 6 months), and it’s challenging to just get out of the house some days. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy family activities and outings. However, this one-income family is on a budget, so we’re not dropping a ton of money on entertainment.

The biggest challenges for us right now are finding activities that we will ALL enjoy, and working around nap schedules. Because, let’s face it, when the toddler is cranky, nobody is having fun, lol. Both girls are under the age of three, so bonus points for activities that are outside, where they can be as loud as they want, and be free to move and play.

Many people seem to be under the impression that we always have to do BIG things to make memories with our children. Sure they’ll enjoy that trip to Disney, but they also love playing games, coloring, and going to the park with us. And I believe it’s the little, every day ways we play with our children that make the most lasting impressions.

$3 Target find. The Dollar Store usually has some, too.

Some things I do with my toddler (and infant) during the week are…

  1. Go to the library.
  2. Read.
  3. Color, paint, or craft.
  4. Blow bubbles. We love the no-spill Fubbles container we picked up at Walmart last year.
  5. Build/create, using blocks, blankets, playdough, etc.
  6. Go for a walk.
  7. Go to the park.
  8. Play make-believe, using stuff you have around the house: plastic food, blocks, pots/pans, clothes, etc.
  9. Play games/puzzles. We only have two games right now, Think Roll Fun and a Frozen II Matching game, but my toddler will pull them out pretty often; and thanks to my mom, we have a TON of puzzles.
  10. Sing/dance. YouTube is my friend in this instance. My toddler loves to sing–like her momma, lol–so she loves singing along with songs we find online (usually Disney and nursery songs). And we play the Freeze Dance game, as well.
  11. *Bonus* I plan to homeschool in the future, so we’ve been practicing line tracing, lately. You can find some activities on Pinterest, but I also picked up a Preschool workbook, from Aldi’s, a few weeks back. I make copies (since I have 2 littles) and place it in a dry erase pocket I purchased from Target while back-to-school shopping, last year.

It may look like I keep them busy, but I don’t really. They play by themselves (or with each other) and they watch some television, but they mostly watch educational shows (I’ll share a list of our favorites below). If they didn’t watch some TV I’d never get anything done around the house. Other times they follow me around the house as I cook, do laundry, or clean.

We’ve started implementing family movie nights on Friday or Saturday evenings, with pizza, popcorn or hot chocolate, and a Disney/family movie. Our toddler might get to stay up a little later to watch the movie with us; and we’ve only done this a few times, but she’s constantly asking for family movie nights, now.

When dad’s home from work, it’s easier to actually go places with both kiddos. So, we tend to save bigger/longer outings for the weekends. Our favorite place to go, so far, has been Maymont in Richmond, Va. We went a few weeks ago, toting along a picnic lunch. It’s free–supported by donations–and complete with animals, gardens, and lots of walking. Last time we went there were kids (and parents) rolling down a huge hill on the property, near the birds of prey exhibits. We have yet to make it inside the mansion for a tour (which is currently closed due to COVID-19), and the Nature Center–which we have visited previously–was under renovation.

If you’re in the area and looking for a free outdoor activity, we always recommend it. There’s a couple parks in the area, as well, but we haven’t been to them, yet. As my girls get older I can make further recommendations, but these are what currently work for us.

Favorite Toddler Television Shows

  • Daniel Tiger
  • Sesame Street
  • The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That
  • Llama Llama
  • Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
  • Doc McStuffins
  • Word World
  • Curious George
  • Super Why
  • Sid the Science Kid
  • Wild Kratts
  • Clifford the Big Red Dog
  • Dora the Explorer
  • Max & Ruby
  • Wallykazam!
  • Dino Dana
  • Superbook
  • Owlegories
  • Veggie Tales

For His Glory

Posted on by brokenredeemed

The first few months after having a baby are a whirlwind of activity. We’ve discussed this before, that as a new mom you just miss out on a lot, so I’m not going to go into it again. However, I do want to mention that when you’re running around with two little ones all day, it can be very difficult to focus on any one thing or task, so I’ve been struggling to come up with ideas and, probably more importantly, the TIME to write.

That being said, I have been using the Proverbs 31 app, First 5, to study the Word during the week, most days. (We’re currently studying the book of Ezekiel.) Although, to be completely honest, some days it’s a real struggle to get up before anybody else to read/study. Half the time I don’t succeed, and/or my 2 1/2 year old interrupts my quiet time, or the baby wakes for a feeding. But that’s life. And I just keep trying to remain in the Word during this season of life.

Anyways, the other night, as I was showering, I was brainstorming things I’ve been meaning to write about. (I always have ideas, but never have a pen & paper available to help me develop them.) But that night, I realized that, while I could write about about managing our home and/or finances, cooking healthy meals on a budget, music, or culture…my most important goal regarding anything I share here, is for me to reflect the heart of the Father.

There are a lot of other articles, books, blogs, or vlogs on YouTube you could follow–and I follow a few–that focus on everything you could imagine. From beauty and makeup, to food and health, family, homeschooling, homesteading and homemaking, etc. But if we’re honest, they focus on what’s temporary. What I want, is for you, my readers, to experience the love and grace of God! I want you to know that our purpose is to glorify Him in all that we do. I want us to recognize that there is eternal value in the seemingly ordinary things of life.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a part of our church’s worship team, and we had a worship night and training a week ago. A question was asked about our definition of worship and this is mine: Praising God for Who He is, what He’s done, and what He’s promised, through all aspects of life. Including, but not limited to, music, songs, poetry, the raising of our children, in our marriages, work, etc. Basically, worship is a lifestyle.

Therefore, whether we’re discussing Scripture, finances, managing our household, or homeschooling, the underscoring theme is that everything we do, we do for the glory of God, as an act of worship, and to establish His Kingdom (Colossians 3:23-24; 1 Samuel 15:22; John 4:23; Matthew 6:33).

So walk with me on this journey, and feel free to ask questions, because I want you to understand that we’re not here to “live our best life,” as the world likes to say; but to glorify God with the life we’ve been given; and to honor Him in everything we say and do. And, as Paul said to the Philippians, “I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6, ESV).

“Momming” in the Early Years

Posted on by brokenredeemed

Being a mom during the early years is SO hard. Whether you’re a stay-at-home or work-from-home mom, whose only time away from your child(ren) is when they’re sleeping; or a mom working outside the home, who doesn’t get to spend nearly as much time with your child(ren) as you’d like, doesn’t matter. Raising little ones is mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining.

It’d be so easy as a busy mom to let my exhaustion get the best of me, and use it as an excuse to be lazy in my walk with Christ, but I can’t. And neither should you! As moms of littles we miss a lot of church. When we give birth we stay home for the first few weeks; we may miss service to nurse/feed our babies; and later, when our children are sick, we end up staying home with them so they don’t infect other children. We often end up either serving in the nursery, or getting stuck in there with our own clingy child. We may miss out on bible studies, women’s events, prayer meetings, outreach opportunities–the list goes on–and we often end up feeling distant from God.

Honestly, it can be incredibly discouraging. However, this is exactly the reason why we must fight, scrape for, and cling to the moments we can get alone with our heavenly Father. We need His strength and encouragement, we need His Words of Truth to teach and discipline us, and His peace to rule our hearts on a daily basis. This means we must make Him a priority in our lives, even if it means getting up early to study the Word before our children get up; giving up a hour of evening television so we can pray; or holding off on a household task, so we can finish a Bible study or book we’ve been working on.

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Don’t give up momma! You’re not alone. You’re not insignificant. You have purpose. We are children of God, doing exactly what He designed us for. And in each season He develops us further into what He desires us to be. While we love our children immensely, our lives should not revolve around them, nor should they keep us from seeking the Lord, during any season.

There are ways for us to use our time more wisely…As a nursing mom, I found myself scrolling through social media a lot while feeding, so I added a bible app to my phone, that way I could read Scripture, instead. As a mom of a toddler, I find getting up before my little one, is the best time for me to spend time with the Lord. I’m most alert, focused, and less rushed in the morning. (During her afternoon nap is my second option–of course, it’s not as predictable, since she’s been fighting her naps, lately.) Since I’m currently pregnant with my second, I’ve been mulling over more options besides my bible app, such as podcasts, and online bible studies. Is it a sacrifice? Absolutely; but it’s worth it!

What I don’t want any of us to fall into the trap of believing, is the lie that we’re “just” moms. This is a time for us to continue learning and growing, and allowing God to use us, both inside and outside our homes. One of the most well-known passages of Scripture regarding women and motherhood can be found in Proverbs 31:10-31.

It’s easy to read this passage and get caught up in all the woman does for her family; however, the most important verse is 31, which states, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” We can be as productive and successful as anybody in this world, but it’s our relationship with Christ that sets us apart. He is what matters most. He determines our steps, guides us and gives us understanding. He teaches us patience and gives us wisdom in dealing with our household, our finances, our husband, children, and every other decision and relationship in our lives. But we must stay connected to our source of Life; the True vine.

If we find that our lives are too busy to make time to meet with God, we may need to take a step back, re-prioritize, and cut some things from our lives; because if something else comes before our relationship with Christ, then we’ve made it an idol in our lives.

Lastly, I’ve been finishing up a study by Lysa TerKeurst, “Finding I AM,” and one of my (many) takeaways was that God can use what little we have to do something significant for the cause of the Kingdom. We may not be able to do everything we want to during this season, but we can do something. And we shouldn’t let anything, including unmet expectations, or unanswered prayers, prevent us from seeing what God has placed right in front of our noses. It may be a challenging time to use every talent God has given us, but it may be the perfect time to allow God to use us in small ways, right where we are. I know it’s cliché, but bloom where you’re planted ladies! But, I reiterate, we cannot pour, we cannot serve, we cannot do anything, apart from God.

Make Him your priority.

I AM the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. ~ John 15:5, ESV

Motherhood: The First Season

Posted on by brokenredeemed

Recently, I remarked to my hubby that I’m in a place where I truly appreciate everything my mother did for us, as children. She was a military spouse, whose husband went away for months–and once, a whole year–at a time, which meant she was at home with me and my younger sisters, without any help (or family nearby) for extended periods of time. And it’s not that I didn’t love my mother or appreciate her before, but now that I’m a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM), whose husband sometimes goes away for weeks at a time, I truly understand what this entails and appreciate the sacrifices she made.

Honestly, when I was younger, being a SAHM didn’t appeal to me, because I thought I’d be bored (HAHAHA). I didn’t realize the amount of work involved in being with your child. All. The. Time. It’s a never-ending routine of changing, nursing, feeding, bathing, reading, and so forth…and that’s not including all the household chores, grocery trips, or meal-making. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining; I love having the financial freedom to be at home with my Cookie Girl. It’s extremely rewarding, but can also be lonely and exhausting.

A week or so ago, our church organized an outreach in our neighborhood. I tried to sit through an informational meeting, beforehand, with a squirming toddler, and failed miserably. I ended up leaving early, frustrated. God and I had a good talk on my drive home, though; and I’ve come to the realization that things will not be the same as they were before we had children, at least not for a very long time. My place, for now, is with my child(ren) and sometimes I will have to stay back, or behind the scenes, in order to be of any service. At first, I was upset about it. It didn’t seem fair that I wouldn’t get to participate in things the way I used to (or how I want to). However, I’ve accepted that for now, W and I have to play tag until baby girl gets a little older; it’s just the season of life that we’re in.

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As I’ve written before, this season will not last forever, nor does it mean that I’ve completely given up on my own dreams or visions. As a matter of fact, God placed something big on my heart, after a visit to Philadelphia, with the passing of my grandfather. But I’m recognizing the need to be patient and wait for the Lord’s timing. The things He’s planted in me will come to pass, even if not right away. I just have to let Him continue to prepare me for these things. Interestingly enough, I heard confirmation of this during Sunday’s sermon: that we’re never too old to walk out the calling God has placed on our lives and that we must stay on the anvil of God and allow Him to shape and mold us.

Therefore, whatever God’s promised you, whatever He’s planted in your heart to complete, sometimes we just have to be patient. We have to continue to seek His face and His will for our lives, and allow Him to mold and shape us through the power of His Holy Spirit. There are tons of biblical examples of men and women of God who probably wanted to give up on their dreams as they ran away from their enemies (Moses, David, Elijah), wandered through the wilderness (Moses, Joshua, Caleb), or as year after year passed, without child(ren) (Abraham & Sarah, Isaac & Rebekah, Hannah, Zechariah & Elizabeth). As I’ve been studying Genesis–through Jen Wilkin’s God of Creation study–I realized that Noah was 500 years old before he had his sons, and 600 years old when he boarded the ark (Genesis 5:32, 7:6). It could very well have taken 100 years to build an ark for a flood that God promised a century before (we don’t know the details!). A hundred years…

David was just a teen when he was anointed as Israel’s next king by Samuel (1 Samuel 16:1-13), but it would be many years before he actually sat on the throne, at age 30 (2 Samuel 5:1-5). The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years before Joshua or Caleb got to enter the promised land (Numbers 14; Joshua 1). And Abraham & Sarah (Genesis 17-18), and Zechariah & Elizabeth (Luke 1:1-24) were just two couples way beyond their child-bearing years, who gave birth to influential men of God! Jesus, Himself, didn’t begin His ministry until He was 30 (Luke 3:23).

As for me…this first season of parenthood is a tough one, requiring self-sacrifice, patience, trust, and complete dependence on God to get through each day; in fact, I am in no way the same person I was before our little Cookie came on the scene. But I know each season will be different, and each will teach me something new about myself, like what I can and cannot handle on my own, about the importance of flexibility, how to better manage my time, and how to show grace in different situations. And each season will change me for the better, and shape me more into the woman that God desires me to be, for which, I’m incredibly grateful.

Motherhood: The First 6 Months

Posted on by brokenredeemed

Our little girl (our first child) turned 6 months a week or two ago. And although, I don’t want this blog to be solely about motherhood or parenthood, it is the season of life that I’m currently in. So, I just wanted to share some things I learned as a new momma.

  1. Being a parent is HARD.
  2. Being a mom is HARD.
  3. Being a stay-at-home-mom is HARD.

LOL. Talk about stating the obvious.

When I first began this post, I wasn’t sure where I was going to go with it, but then a friend of mine posted something on her FB wall that really resonated with me. She talked about feeling isolated as a stay-at-home-mom. I understood those feelings all too well. Then, after talking with a few working moms over the weekend, I realized it was most moms–regardless of working status–that felt this way.

While I love being home with our baby girl, some days are good and others are very challenging. Some days baby girl goes down for a 2 1/2 hour nap in her crib, while other days she won’t let me put her down. Some days she wakes up at 4 o’clock in the morning crying, for no apparent reason, and I’m wracking my brain to get her back to sleep; but other days she sleeps for 7 hours straight. We love our children, and love being able to stay home with them, but it can be lonely and exhausting.

I think it’s because, being a mom often means that our own needs are set aside for those of another. However, it’s far too easy to get caught up in this idea, and never put ourselves first. Which, I feel is a mistake. I love my baby girl, but sometimes I need time to myself. Whether that means asking the hubbs to watch baby while I go to the gym; do some grocery shopping; cook or clean; or take a nice, long, hot shower; I need some time unattached, if only for 30 minutes. (I’m going to be honest though, I know my husband doesn’t always understand this, and it’s frustrating; but I guess I need to just do a better job at explaining it to him.)

Perhaps that’s where our loneliness and exhaustion comes from…thinking we need to be able to do it all on our own. Maybe we think we’re a “bad mom” because we can’t do it all; or because we need some “me time.” We shouldn’t think this way. As I often tell baby girl, “Mommy can’t feed you, unless she feeds herself;” in other words, we can’t take care of another of we aren’t taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually speaking.

Instead, we need to ask for help when we need it; and as believers, it’s incredibly important for us to remain in the Word and prayer, and in community with other believers (Hebrews 10:24-25).

I understand that when you have a little one–or more than one–it’s sometimes difficult to just get out of the house, forget trying to get together with others. It takes a ton of planning to get everybody up and out of the house, but it can be, and should be done.

I realized this after the first few weeks of being a STAHM. So, here are some things I’ve recently begun implementing in our home…

  • Attending a Wednesday morning women’s Bible study, so I can connect with other women. (My husband attends Saturday morning with the men.)
  • Weekly library visits.
  • Monthly visits to the children’s museum.
  • We (my husband and I) have begun getting together with different couples from church each month.
  • Planning a family outing once a month.

Lastly, I mentioned this previously, in my Learning to Appreciate the Silence post, we need to be wary of our social media usage. First off, it’s a huge time sucker; you go to check one thing and by the time you know it, 30 minutes have gone by. Furthermore, it’s so easy to get caught up with things others are doing, to feel hurt or offended when we feel we’ve been forgotten or excluded. If we weren’t watching the every move of others via social media we wouldn’t even be worried about such things. Finally, it’s way too easy to go into comparison mode, thinking that others have it better than us; or that they have everything all together; or sometimes, even worse, thinking we’re better than another mom! We forget that FB, Instagram, etc. are just the “greatest hits” reel, where we usually get to see people at their best. We don’t often get to see their struggles or insecurities–and believe me, EVERY mom has them. We’re all different and just trying to do the best we can with what God has given us.

Although, it appears that I’m trying to figure this mom thing out on my own by creating schedules and getting together with others, I must reiterate the need for spending time in prayer and the Word. Ultimately, our peace and strength comes from the Lord; and try as we might, to do it all on our own, we’ll only end up exhausted, bitter, and feeling like utter failures if we don’t rest in His presence daily. So, let’s take a lesson from David, when we’re feeling overwhelmed, and seek refuge in the shadow of the most high.

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is overwhelmed and weak. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I [a rock that is too high to reach without Your help]. For you have been a shelter and a refuge for me, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in Your tent forever! Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings! Selah ~ Psalm 61:1-4, AMP

Book Review – Missional Motherhood: The Everyday Ministry of Motherhood in the Grand Plan of God

Posted on by brokenredeemed

For my birthday last year my husband gave me “Missional Motherhood,” by Gloria Furman. Only a month post-partum at the time, I didn’t have much time to read it.  While I slowly made my way through the first half, I was able to read the second half, much quicker (after limiting my television time and using the time that baby girl was asleep, more efficiently).

20180115_121151.jpgWhen my husband brought this home for me, I was excited to read it. I’d worked in the Christian bookstore during my first trimester and saw this book on the shelf. It definitely piqued my interest. Little did I know that this book isn’t only for mothers, but all women who mother or nurture others.

“Mothering is a calling for all women. Every Christian woman is called to the spiritual motherhood of making disciples of all nations,” states Furman. She states that nurturing, or mothering, involves discipling, serving, caregiving, teaching, showing hospitality, and more. I’d never thought of discipling young women in this manner before, but it makes sense. Whenever I’ve taken young women under my wing, I have, in a sense, felt as though I were mothering them.

The first half of Furman’s book talks about the Old Testament of the bible, where motherhood fits into the grand plan of God, and our most important need for a right relationship with God. The second half of the book describes Christ as the Creator, Redeemer, and resurrection life of motherhood; and as every mother’s Prophet, Priest, and King. There is so much truth to unravel in this book that I will probably be writing more posts based on it in the coming weeks.

I highly encourage all of my women readers to pick up a copy of this book for yourselves. God designed us to serve Him in a intentional way, to glorify Him, and make disciples…so, what are we waiting for?

Sister, we have died, and our lives are hidden with Christ in God. We are not our own. Our children are not our own. Our homes are not our own. Our stuff is not our own. Nothing is our own. It’s all his and for his glory. And that’s the incredible reality we get to wake up to every day. Let’s help each other remember! ~ (Missional Motherhood, p. 185)